guilt

a beautiful song that faded
though i really wanted
to familiarize myself with
melody repeating over and over
bridge to chorus
yet never complete
snapped my fingers trying to recall
it is a shame
i really would have searched
under the covers, on top of shelves
in every page of every book
maybe i tucked you in there
i never did look
i substituted you for other songs
that were more accessible
though the phone is beside me
and the bus ride is actually short
it must be quite an experience
to know you more
to decipher you
how you waited for me to find you
how you were composed for me
how you kept knocking at my door
throwing stones at my window
or could that be guilt
but i never listened
as if wanting you to do fade
maybe without "as if"

empty light

empty light

i stole this image and rendered it charcoal. to the owner: sorry, if you want me to put credits i will. anyways (mwahaha ironical somehow). this is for my techniques class again. basically my room (wait, i don't have a room, i'm living with my aunt! oops) is now black because of charcoal residue all over. but its not that big, the plate i mean. i used half a canson paper for ground. it was fun. hey! it looks like a book cover. eww.

the 25th annual putnam county spelling bee

watched ateneo rep's production yesterday with ate em and kuya rex and trina. suppose to watch with tania too but she mysteriously failed to show up (oooohhh). this is the second time i watched it. it's that good. first time was last fri with trina which was better than yesterday's in terms of crowd response and sitting. but the everything else was equally good for both.

it was hilarious really! some parts were tearful too. i liked it so much. there's so much contrast going on. i like i like. the play itself was sufficiently deep and meaningful. it relates very much to teenagers and what crap we go through. yes yes. hackneyed. but each character portrayed their problems uniquely, problems like religion, parental control, self-confidence, puberty, loneliness, gender et cetera. i liked the development of each character as the play progressed. pressured, all of them broke down at one point of the spelling bee and most found their way out. no one was left unexposed. nice. thumbs up for finn, sheinkin and feldman.

acting wise, all of them did a superb job. the "bee" had problems with his diction but he was just adorable. i liked the marcy park the best! she's is SO CUTE!!! i wanna hug her and squeeze her till she bursts (eww). and i liked coneybear too! he's so possessed! and logainne! "YESST!" anyways. singing was mediocre. only the vice principal doughlas, the peretti host and the olive had pretty good voices. others had the voices but it wasn't just there. my favorite track was the "the i love you song". pure, solemn and oh so true. the olive was magnificent! the technicals was horrible at times. but who cares about them. most of the time technicals really ruin everything in any play. so that's cool.

putting all of those aside, i say they did the tony award justice. B-R-A-V-O, BRAVO! i am so downloading the songs.

had dinner at cibo after that. i like their interiors as always. mixed with modern contemporary and oriental. edgy and manly i say. and had fun with triny!

Splintered and Thorned

There was a tree before, amid the desert. It exuberated life, a beacon to everyone that paradise is near after the long desert walk. A distinct sign of the oasis. One can see it far from where it is, thus giving hope to all.

Suddenly, a sandstorm materialized. Its ferocity tore all that existed. Its rage was merciless and unrelenting. The tree lay there in the aftermath. Soon, it decomposed. Its leaves gave up, losing its lustrous green for a crispy brown, then they dissolved and escaped with the wind. All that was left was a withering piece of log. Splintered and thorned. The wooden log was stamped by the nomads, defaced by the beasts and battered by the even more storms. In time, it faded like the sun at dusk, and it receded by the sides of the desert dunes.

One day, a little girl pranced by. Her hair cascaded down like a golden waterfall, her porcelain skin shimmered like the moon. her eyes were wide, her nose was nicely chiseled and she had the sweetest smile that shamed the sun. Her dress marked her as a bourgeoisie, with its ribbons and ruffles. Because of her innocence and curiosity, she noticed things that are often dismissed. She walked up to the wooden log. "Who are you?" she asked. " Do not mind me," moaned the log, "I'm just an old wooden log. Splintered and thorned."

"A wooden log! I've seen those before!" The little girl chirped with excitement. "But why do you look apart from others, might i ask?"

"Well, I will spare a little girl of a dismal story. Trudge along now or your mother will be looking for you." said the log.

The little girl was disappointed, but stubborn as she is, she stayed on her ground. "Still, I want to know!" she pouted. She sat down beside the wooden log, her ironed dress now stained by the earth. The wooden log sighed and began. It muttered its past and as it did, tears trickled down its rough surface. The little girl listened, but she was unaffected for she does not know what adversity is. Yet she tried to pat the log because that was what her mother did when she fell down the stairs the other day. However, the wooden log was splintered and thorned and her finger was pricked. The little girl started sobbing as it was bleeding.

"My apologies my young lady. For all that touched me left a mark. Nevertheless, i am grateful for that as it became my means of defense. For a similar cause, my pale and bland interior is protected by my coarse and dark covering. But it is a shame that all had come to this." said the wooden log

The little girl dried her tears but they came again for she carried the wooden log, splintered and thorned, in her arms. What the wooden log said confused her. However, she figured it must not be different from falling down the stairs. She plodded back to her company, hoping to give the wooden log shelter from its misery. At first the log was puzzled, but he softened at the little girl's display of concern. As she carried the wooden log, it felt as if its burden was left by the sides of
the desert dunes.

While she was walking, her mother spotted her from afar and ran towards her. "My daughter, where have you been? I've been worried sick! Why do you do this to me and your father? It's getting late and we must be on our way." the little girl's mother was scarlet with anger. "And what, in the name of heavens, is that hideous thing! It's splintered and thorned! You're an imprudent little girl. put that away!" her mother snatched her hand and yanked her back to their convoy. The wooden log was torn from her grasp and discarded back into its depression, by the sides of the the desert dunes. The little girl's resistance was futile. However, sooner or later, she will forget the incident, only to be a vague shadow lingering in her memories.

As they vanished from sight, the wooden log lay there in the aftermath. Splintered and thorned.. "However different, yet another mark." he lamented.

eraser drawing for techniques class - tree

wahh... it's so ugly. i suck. and believe me that pic is waayyyy better than the actual drawing. i want to cry. how the hell did i get in UP in the first place? the teachers there must b blind. and not that im critisizing or anything. but sheesh... look at that thing. never again will i do eraser drawings.

my cous maris helped me with this. and no it wasn't her fault coz she just did the initial shading of the whole ground for a value so i can erase the stain there. that's the whole purpose of eraser drawing right?